Justifying Jealousy

I was recently inspired to write a blog on the role that jealously plays in our lives, after talking to my friend their family problems. The word jealous is usually associated with something very negative. But do we ever stop and think about why we are jealous of someone else? Does it have to do with what they have, or is it actually something we feel is missing in our own lives? I think jealousy is natural, but where we often fail is in recognizing our own jealousy, accepting it, examining what it says about ourselves, and then moving forward accordingly.

It seems more appropriate to keep our jealousy hidden, to deny it, and create negative thoughts, words, and actions towards others. How many conflicts are started out of jealousy? Do we really want another to suffer, or have less than we have, or do we just want to feel fulfilled ourselves? Does someone’s success remind us that we may not be where we want to be? We are all works in progress, but unexamined jealousy only stops us from moving forward. How many people do you know who are still consumed by their jealousy of another person?

We must learn to face jealousy, to take away its negative stigma, to be honest with ourselves, and then we will be able to have more real relationships with others. The Ten Commandments in the bible says “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods, nor his wife, nor his calf” but what if you do? How do we deal with exploring what jealousy really is? We are just told it is not good. Though I do not have an answer myself, I constantly try to figure where my feelings come from, and what they say about me rather than the other person.

Think about how many international conflicts start over what one group of people has, and what another group of people wants. How can we apply these ideas of jealousy to understanding large scale conflicts? It is difficult to pick an international conflict and say that jealousy is the primary reason why the conflict happened, but it is possible to examine how jealousy contributed to escalating different conflicts.

 Traveling to different countries and cultures has helped me access for myself what things are really important. It has also challenged me to reevaluate what I value, and appreciate the similarities and differences we all have. It can be difficult to accept that someone may be better at something than we ourselves are. By knowing our own strengths and valuing our own abilities we may be able to better appreciate other peoples’ strengths too.

So in honor of redefining jealousy (yes, I said it), and learning more about ourselves and others in the process, let’s eat some Mast-O Khiar (Iranian Yogurt and Cucumber Dip)!

Recipe is below

DOCUMENTARY: FOUR WIVES-ONE MAN 

SYNOPSIS: "Persson reveals the intricacies of the relationships between the four wives, their husband, their astoundingly free-spoken mother-in-law and their numerous children. Sometimes humorous and often heartbreaking, this film follows the daily lives of the wives whose situation has turned them into both bitter rivals and co-conspirators against their abusive husband. Persson’s camera unobtrusively and beautifully captures the range of the family’s interactions – from peaceful, pastoral scenes of a family picnic, to the temporary chaos caused by a broken faucet in the kitchen, to a furtive, whispered conversation between two wives about the latest beating. Avoiding sensationalism and sentimentality, this film provides unique insights into the practice of polygamy and its effect on the women involved."

Please keep in mind this film is not provided for judgement against Polygamy, but it is posted for those who watch to keep in mind the role jealousy plays in all of our lives.

Mast-O Khiar (Cucumber Dip Persian Style) 

Ingredients for Mast-O Khiar (Yogurt and Cucumber Dip) 

recipe from: http://www.justbestrecipes.com/egg-dish/mast-o-khiar-persian-yogurt-and-cucumber-dip.html

• 1 English cucumber, peeled and diced
• 1/2 cup raisins
• 3 cups whole milk yogurt, drained (read intro)
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 1/4 cup green onion, chopped
• 1 tablespoon fresh mint, chopped (NOT dried)
• 2 tablespoons fresh dill weed, chopped
• 2 garlic cloves, peeled and finely minced
• 3 tablespoons walnuts, finely chopped
• 1/2 teaspoon salt, to taste
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper

Garnish

• 1/2 teaspoon fresh mint
• 2 tablespoons fresh rose petals, cut into ribbons
• 1 dried rose bud

Preparation of Mast-O Khiar

1. Chop cumber and walnuts
2. In a serving bowl combine the cucumber, raisins, yogurt, sour cream, scallions, mint, dill, garlic and walnuts.
3. Stir mixture thoroughly and season with salt and pepper to taste.
4. Cover and refrigerate dip for at least 1 hour before serving.
5. When ready to serve, garnish with the mint, rose petals and the rose bud, if using.
6. Serve with pita bread triangles, Arabic bread, crostini, etc.