Habitual Hatred

Lately, I had a few encounters that left me quite disturbed. And the reason is that I  met people with  a profound hate for my religious group and anyone who identifies with it. This not to say they disagree with my personal views on religion, but they hate me based on the faith I was born into. Growing up in the United States, I did not encounter this sentiment much, but being in Europe I have experienced prejudice. The scariest part has been that these people approached me and openly had casual conversation with me about their deep and profound hate for my religion. They are totally unaware of what religious group I am associated with, and  some times they have even approached me under the guise of being interested in me romantically.  This got me thinking: in a situation where there is a threat to my identity, what do I do? I did feel a little unsafe, but I felt it was important to tell this person who had minutes before been complementing me, that I was, in fact, a part of the group that he felt was responsible for the downfall of the earth. So,  I told him we could never be, because how could we agree which faith to raise our imaginary unborn children?

How are we supposed to handle a conversation with someone who has already decided they hate whatever group we belong to, without endangering ourselves? When  I left the conversation and told him calmly that we obviously disagree on some very large issues, I thought to myself, did I do the right thing, or did I just potentially put myself in danger of violence? We cannot change other people’s ignorance, but how can we stand up for ourselves in a way that makes us feel a difference, and leaves ourselves feeling empowered, and not in fear of another?

I wish I had an answer to this, but I don’t.  Too often we hear about people’s cultures and identities clashing and resulting into violence. But are we all really that different that we cannot live and respect another person’s right to being also? It was obvious to me after this conversation that the man who had talked to me had no concept of what it is to identify with my religion or be from my community, nor understand anything about who I am as a individual. I am sad for him that he has put such limitations on his life, by living in a rhetoric of closemindness and hatred.

I did, however, come to a few conclusions after having this really awkward and somewhat disturbing conversation. I wanted to understand where he was coming from. I did feel a little scared for my safety, but I was more interested in addressing where his hatred came from and what it was based on. Secondly, I didn’t see the benefit in addressing him in an upset way, I felt like it would shut the person off. Unfortunately, we were limited by the fact that he was not fluent in English.

We must keep in mind that the continual support for, and silence around these sentiments have helped spur propaganda and rhetoric for large scale conflicts that have ended in extreme violence.

I think these types of interactions are difficult when we feel our identity is being attacked, and how we respond to the attacker.  It is important to think about our safety, but also think about how disempowering it can be to not respond, and also it gives us the option of better understanding these sentiments in the world. So in honor of challenging habitual hatred let us eat some Mahshi Malfouf- Stuffed Cabbage (Origin can be argued so let's just say Arabic style!)

Recipe at the bottom

FILM: PARADISE NOW

SYNOPSIS: "In Nablus, on the West Bank, there live two friends who have known each other for years. Said and Khaled, two Palestinian people, who have experienced living under another nations rule for their whole lives. They feel oppression, humiliation and consider themselves prisoners in their own land. As soon as a friend presents to them an opportunity to avenge their way of life, the filmmaker follows their steps as they prepare themselves for their final act of resistance, a suicide mission in Tel-Aviv." (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0445620/synopsis)

I highly recommend watching this film.

Mahshi Malfouf Recipe

(recipe from http://homemade-recipes.blogspot.com/2009/11/malfouf-recipe-mahshi-malfouf-rolls.html)

This recipe of mahshi malfouf rolls (Stuffed Cabbage) is very delicious, you should try!

Ingredients

• 1 Medium Cabbage
• 1 ½ cups ground beef or ground lamb
• 1 medium diced onion
• 1 cup short grain rice
•  Garlic you need few whole garlic cloves peeled and some minced.
• Optional, you may use whole head of garlic with the peel in between the layers
• 2 to 3 teaspoons of the following spices: Cumin, Caraway, Coriander, Cinnamon, Salt and Black Pepper. You may all the above spices or omit whichever you do not like to use.
• Cooking oil
• 1 cup Lemon juice 
• 1 cup water or as needed

Preparation

1. Wash and drain rice
2. Mix up the ground meat, diced onions and rice; add cooking oil and the spices (Cumin, Caraway, Coriander, Salt and Black Pepper) set aside.
3. Prepare your cabbage leaves by separating the leaves from the cabbage head. Cut away stems, save them and use them at the bottom of the pot.
4. Boil the leaves a few at a time in boiling salted water until they are soft enough to roll.
5. Prepare stuffing of meat, rice, salt, pepper and the above spices
6. Cut the leaves to form a cigar size roll. Place stuffing on each leaf, fold sides toward center and roll up from bottom into a cigar shape (similar with stuffed vine leaves). Do not over stuff; make sure that you have space for the rice to expand inside the cabbage rolls.
7. Press together firmly. Place layer of the saved stems
8. Place the whole garlic heads in between the rolled Malfouf.
9. Sprinkle with salt, caraway and cumin in between layers. Add water, boil then simmer for an hour to an hour and a half. Half way through the cooking time add crushed garlic on top. Let simmer. Simmer gently until rice is tender in barely enough water to cover. Invert your pot in a platter
10. You may serve this dish hot or at room temperature, depends on your personal taste.